Let me say that writing about the negativity in the publishing/writer world helps me a lot. So, I'm going to share these revelations with you all in hopes they help you as much as they help me!
I wanted to talk about comparisons today:
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Puppy Twins!
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| Human Twins! |
Puppy twins are Pepper (left) and Piper (right). Human twins are my bubba and me! Yes, we are really twins, I'm not just saying that for the sake of this post. Lol. Born 2 minutes apart, me and my bubba have spent twenty-three years together. That's been twenty-three years of bonding, fighting, and yes--comparison.
My bubba was held back in his transition from kindergarden to first grade. He went into a class called T1. Because of this, though we were twins, he was always been a grade behind me. People NEVER understood how my brother could not be like me. Why he wasn't as "smart" as me. Why wasn't he just like me? You don't have to be twins to experience this. You can be a sibling, a cousin, or just anyone, really.
The reason my brother is not like me is because he is not me. It's so simple.
It's the same with writing. We constantly compare ourselves to other writers. I realize this is a way we can relate to one another--similar experiences and all that jazz, but comparison can hurt us--it has hurt my brother and it's hurt countless others I know. It's cool to have high aspirations and say, "I want to be just like J.K. Rowling." But really, that's not realistic. Not because you can't accomplish what J.K. Rowling accomplished, because you can--I believe that with all my heart.
It's not realistic because you are not her.
See, there are all sorts of quotes that tell you not to compare yourselves to others in some way. Some are:
"Comparison is the death of joy." - Mark Twain
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
"It is not for you to judge the journey of another's Soul. It is for you to decide who You are, not who another has been or has failed to be." - Neale Donal Walsch.
Mark Twain's quote is very important here--how many of you actually feel better after you compared yourself to another author? Now, before you say "Well, this author was terrible, so I felt great" - how is that helping you at all, really? No, you probably didn't feel better about yourself. What this does is open a whole mine of negative thoughts. You start thinking about why you're not good enough. You start thinking about all the impossibilities, and then you're sad again. Those are all icky keywords we don't want in our vocabulary!
It's so important to remember, as Wilde stated, that we are all different. It's one thing to read another author's work and aspire to have certain qualities. Those are goals. Everyone should set goals for themselves. It's when you turn the qualities of other authors into a rant of self-hatred against yourself that you've crossed a line. There's a healthy balance while reading other's works--a give and take, I think. Find merit in your own work, praise your differences, and know when they are what make you the writer you are.
The last quote is very much about comparing journeys. It's a fancy way of saying no two paths are alike. I know we all know this, but do we really understand it? No one's road to getting an agent, publishing, fame is the same. Everyone has their own story. Sometimes it's simplistic, sometimes it's complicated. Sometimes you're angry at the simplicity, sometimes you're angry at the complications--but those experiences, easy or hard, make us who we are.
You need to remember that experiences shape you. Experiences are creating things you're going to write about. Experience are making you that unique writer, and for some reason, you're going on your unique path. Believe there's a purpose to that. So don't let comparison make you feel less worthy--it's so silly! You're not the person you're comparing yourself to, so how in the world is there even a comparison?
I think it's a scary thing to present your raw self to the world, but you're a beautiful self and you've got a unique gift. We all have something that makes us who we are and also different from others.
My challenge to you is to look in the mirror and tell yourself you're an awesome writer. No matter how much you have to work on, no matter how many words you wrote today, look in the mirror, look yourself straight in the eyes, and tell yourself how wonderfully unique you are.
You are awesome, there's no one else like you.
There's something so beautiful about that.
