Monday, February 20, 2012

Campaign Challenge!



Okay! I am actually proud of myself! I wrote this during class (along with another poem due at midnight). hehe. I'm not great at flash fiction, but I liked this! And I hope you do, too. Here were the rules for Rachel's first challenge:


Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

Here is my entry. I used orange in my story, and wrote in the same genre I normally write. I could only get to 198 words! :/

This is about my favorite, Cove Rowell. You all probably know what he looks like, but here's a picture:


Now, here's the fiction:

Canice's Betrayal

Shadows crept across the wall. The sun was rising. Pieces of orange light peaked through the window. Cove sat on the edge of his bed, knowing today would be a day of death.

He had never seen this betrayal coming. His father had taught him to trust no one, that treason was punishable only by death. His father had lived by those words, and so would Cove.

Cove grasped his sword and headed up stairs, loneliness grasped at his heart—today the one he had trusted most would be put to death. He already had an explanation for the incident. On deck, he broke through the morning light—a halo of dawn surrounded him. His father turned to him, a smirk on his lips.

"Only a day to Maris."

Cove walked up to his father, the smirk faded from his face.

“All treason is punishable by death,” said Cove. “You made me Captain upon your betrayal. Now I take that title.”

Cove did not wait to hear his father's plea--he could see the guilt in his eyes.
The blood of his father was warm on his hands, and the man who taught him of treachery was dead.


Hope you liked that! :D 

<3 

124 comments:

  1. That was a bit like an emotional punch in the gut (in a good way!). Poor Cove. That last line was really powerful. The whole piece was. Nicely done!

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    1. Thank you! I pretty much cannot write short pieces of fiction, so I'm sure this will turn into a very long piece at some point.

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  2. Wow that was really intense! I like how only near the end you find out it's his father. The poor dad! I wonder if he even saw it coming...
    Great job!

    I'm entry #19

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    1. Yeah...he was a pretty evil Dad though!

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  3. ultimate betrayal! great twist =)

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  4. Oh wow! I should have seen that coming but didn't! Totally thought it'd be a woman who betrayed him. This is awesome! Great job!

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    1. No! Lol. Fortunately, Cove doesn't really deal with that! Thank you!

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  5. Oh, I love this entry! I'm not part of the campaign, but I must say how wonderful of a tale you spun for everyone to read! Excellent words! Perfect! :)

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  6. Love it! Makes me want to read more about Cove!

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  7. Nice work! I really got a sense of Cove even from such a short piece.

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  8. Wow that was great! That's ultimate betrayal.

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  9. Wonderful flash piece. Love the tension.

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  10. I guess everything's said in that one like I clicked!

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    1. Aww, thank you so very much! :D I appreciate it so much!

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  11. Awesome setup and execution. Nice one! :)

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  12. A hard nut to crack, Cove is...a fantastic read.

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  13. Ashley, I really feel for Cove what a rat bag of father! Nice work!

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    1. LOL. Yeah, Canice isn't very cool. :/ Poor Cove, he turns out so well, though!

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  14. I like the setup, the lesson taught coming back around to the teacher. Nicely done.

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  15. Powerful and I haven't had any tea yet ;) Well done and I look forward to reading more from you!

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  16. Replies
    1. I told my friend you said this, and she clapped! So it must be good. ;) Thank you!

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  17. This is great! I'd love to continue reading this story! This is the perfect teaser.

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    1. Thank you! I do hope you enjoy the other things I post about them!

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  18. Wow! I loved this entry! Nice work, I love the twist at the ending!! :)

    I'm #37

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    1. Thank you! I'm getting around to the others. My computer died today. :(

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  19. Nice! Even better picturing Ben Barnes as I read :)

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    1. Yeah. I saw him in Prince Caspian and was like "WHAT COVE?!?!"

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  20. Great twist! Needing to know the rest of the story now :)

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    1. lol. Yay! I hope you will know it at some point, too! :D

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  21. Loved this, great but heartbreaking twist at the end!

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  22. Oooo, your descriptions are fantastic. I can almost feel the pain, both mental and physical. Nice job! :-)

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  23. Wow, intense! Cove doesn't play around!

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    1. Lol. I'm going to make a shirt that says "Cove don't play!"
      haha. Thanks for the inspiration and comment!!

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  24. Replies
    1. Well that's good! Thanks for your comment!

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  25. Very good! A nicely executed twist there! (no pun originally intended) =)

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  26. Wow, that was intense! I thought that was very good, and I'm heading over to "like" it.
    Thanks for your encouragement on my blog too:)

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    1. Thank you so much! And no problem. I'm finding myself in constant need of encouragement and reminders that I'm not alone! I hope this blogging community can help you out of your fear! *hugs*

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  27. Wow. Strong internal conflict. I like!
    (And swoon on Ben Barnes photo! ;D )

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    1. Lol. Thanks, Cherie! And yeah...I kinda love Ben Barnes. haha.

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  28. Goodness, girlie! Look at all these comments! And WOW. That was powerful! Oh, and BTW, SWOON. Yep, Cover is fine. ;)

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    1. I have been blogfest/campaigning hardcore, Anita! lol. And...half of them are always me commenting back. aha. Thank you!! :D

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  29. Great job - blood and betrayal ... not to mention yummy eye-candy!

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    1. LOL. That is quite a mixture! Thank you!

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  30. Nice job! Sounds like it should be a movie!

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  31. Whoa! Didn't see that one coming. Nice job!

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  32. I like the picture and the story ;)

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    1. Yeahh...would doesn't love Ben Barnes?!? lol.

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  33. Well written. So who is Cove supposed to be?

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    1. Hmm. Well, at this moment, he's a pirate. :)

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  34. Ouch! So vivid and sad. Great job! Very well done!

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  35. Aww, how sad. Great job pulling me in!

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  36. very nice - I was expecting a vampire thing - I have no idea who that is in your pic lol

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    1. hahaha. Really? No, Cove is not a vampire. He's a pirate. :) And the guy in the pic is Ben Barnes (he plays Prince Caspian). ;)

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  37. Nice! I especially loved the "halo of dawn" line. Trust no one...even your family, I guess.

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    1. Yeah? Awesome! I thought part of that was a little cheesy. Thank you!

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  38. Hi Ashley, I can definitely see your love for pirates in your writing! You captured the "Sins and Fathers" theme quite well in your story.

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    1. lol. Yeah, I have an obsession. oohh. Love that "sins of fathers"--very cool! Thank you!

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  39. Well done. What a sad truth Cove had to learn. I definitely think his father saw it coming when he looked guiltily at Cove. He taught his son well.

    I'm #88. Comments welcome.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, I'm sure he did, he just didn't expect that Cove would discover his plan. :/

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  40. Ashley, I know you already commented on my story. Thank you. I typed the last line of my last post to you by rout. Richard

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    1. lol. That's cool! I got to number 147 yesterday! That was the end when I finished, now I have nearly 50 more to read for tomorrow! :)

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  41. Nothing like a little murder in the morning! Loved it. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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  42. This is an amazing piece of work. i have no idea who Cove Rowell is. Yet the story made me want to know more about Cove and the treachery of his father.

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    1. Yay!! I love hearing things like this! Thank you so much! :)

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  43. Intense! I loved it...I couldn't believe he killed his dad. Thanks for commenting on my blog and I am your new follower. Great prose!

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    1. Thank you for the follow! And thank you for the comment! <3

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  44. I knew it was the dad, but damn that's cold! Great job. New follower too.

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    1. LOL. Thank you for the comment and follow! :)

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  45. I couldn't help wondering what kind of betrayal the father was responsible for to deserve the punishment by death. It takes a lot of courage to do that. :)
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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    1. I'm trying to edit a short story that will kind of touch on Cove's father's betrayal, so that'll be a fun thing! :) Thank you for stopping by!!

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  46. You set this so well in so few words! Really loved it.

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  47. Oooooh, that was brilliant. So intense. Great job! (and yay! I'm your 300th follower. Where's the confetti?)

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    1. I totally want to give you a present!! I appreciate it so much!! Thank you!

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  48. How ironic that the man who taught him not to trust is the very same man to betray him. So sad for Cove. I enjoyed your story!

    #96

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  49. I love having the visual aid to a great flash--sounds like a piece of a much greater story! I enjoyed this!

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    1. Thank you! :) It definitely is part of a bigger story!

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  50. Wow, I loved that twist! You have a way of forming words that really leaves a lasting impression.

    I'm voting for you. :)

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    1. Plus, you get extra points for using Ben Barnes as your inspiration. :D

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    2. Thank you!!!! I appreciate this so much! <3 And of course! I LOVE Ben Barnes!! Again, thank you!! :)

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  51. A great twist at the end. I was expecting it to be a woman and...

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    1. Lol. Great twist at the end! ;)
      I didn't even think that one would consider a woman! So that's pretty cool!

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  52. Yikes! Talk about a cutthroat family.

    #109

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    1. lol. Yeah. This tends to reoccur in my stories!

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  53. A great piece - simple, yet intense and direct!

    Thanks for popping by my blog and leaving such a generous comment.

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    1. Thank you so much! And no problem! :) I'm very happy I got a chance to read it!

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  54. I want to know what the father did to deserve such a punishment! Very intense and well written!

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    1. lol. He did a very bad thing. :/ Thank you!

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  55. I really like your writing style, loved this. I also want to know exactly what the betrayal was!

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    1. Thank you very much!
      I may post a short story that explains this. I'll definitely post the link when I do! :)

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    2. Yeah I'd like to know the same. Waiting :)

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  56. Nicely done, really enjoyed it. I look forward to reading more.

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  57. How heartbreaking to find your father guilty of treason...reminds me of Medieval Times. Well done! Thanks for stopping by my blog last week...

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