“After everything you would think that?” she asked. “We would talk of our futures, early into the morning, Cove! And you still thought I didn’t want to see you?"
“If I had married, what would you have thought?” he asked. Sara wanted to respond, but she couldn’t say anything—she knew how she would feel. Hurt. Lost. Angry.
“I heard of your engagement on the day I returned from sea. It was the worst news I had ever heard. You have no idea how I felt—no idea!”
He was angry—the pain of her abandonment had built for so long. He barely let himself acknowledge how much it bothered him. Until now. Now, Sara was the one who would receive all his anger, and the only one who had his love.
“You didn’t even try to explain! You avoided me every chance you got! And don’t say I never tried to speak to you—plenty of times I invited Ben to my home in hopes of seeing you and always you were ill, always you had some excuse! Do not say I never tried Sara! The whole time you stayed with him, you were miserable and I was left to wonder why. Why? When I had always loved you.”
Sara stared at Cove for a long moment, her body shook with the knowledge of his adoration and love. She moved to close the gap between them quickly. Her lips touched his, he was lost. He pulled her to him, his fingers locked in her hair. His lips moved against hers clumsily but hungrily—so long, he had wished to taste the sweetness of her lips. She was warm; the fire of her body fueled her kiss, her passion.
There you have it. Maybe not as steamy as you'd hoped, but that's my type of love scene! lol.Happy Valentines Day!!! :D
I love how they're yelling at each other and then making out :) Great job. I can feel the anger and passion through the screen!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Yeah...always seems to happen like that. It's all that suppressed yearning.
DeleteHaha! I knew it! I knew they'd just end up smacking one on each other! Awesome :)
ReplyDeletehehe. Told you it was coming! lol.
DeleteGreat! Happy Valentine's Day :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentine's Day!!
DeleteI prefer romance over steam, so this was perfect!
ReplyDeleteYay! Thank you, Emily!
DeleteVery nicely done. :)
ReplyDeleteI remember that scene from Friday :) I'm so glad we got to see how it played out!!!
ReplyDeletelol. Me too! I just love them.
DeleteI like the romance too. Not always into the super steamy. Glad we got to see what happened next.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteNice, would love to see where the scene continued!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to post the actual story soon under my writings tab, I'm just trying to edit it perfectly! Lol.
DeleteYep, that's my kind of love scene too :)
ReplyDeleteYay! Thank you!
DeleteI love angst scenes that change into kissy scene lol
ReplyDeleteGreat!
lol. Thank you!
DeleteHappy Valentines! I like the apparent love and the romance in the scene you chose.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
DeleteI'm learning so much from bloggers I have only just met today. Yours included. Thanks for such an excellent scene of tension. Now following. :)
ReplyDeleteHer lips touched his, he was lost.
ReplyDeletelove :D
Thank you!
DeleteAwww, that had to hurt. I feel his pain! Well done! I'm glad she understood and ended up kissing him. And, chica, there was some steam in there ;)
ReplyDeletelol. Thank you! I'm so happy you liked this, and that you stopped by!
DeleteI think this is totally HOT. I love how the emotion and the long time of separation is there, making the kiss mean so much more. Really well done.
ReplyDeleteNot steamy!!!! This is definitely steamy. *fans self*
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm glad you thought so! :D
DeleteI thought it was steamy! I liked how he was clumsy, even though he had rehearsed the kiss for so long. Maybe his eagerness overcame him? It was a great, heartfelt scene.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yeah, Cove isn't as clumsy later on. hahaha.
DeleteIt's got great tension. I think it's wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI thought it was great!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI love it. Sexy, sweet and emotional. Seriously - I'm all emotional! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Leigh!! :)
DeleteOne of my favorite story elements is this--lost love rediscovered. Great job!
ReplyDeleteyay! Thank you!
DeleteOh wow! The heartache then the love...perfect :)
ReplyDeleteLove is so great to write about and you got the chemistry perfect :) great job :)
ReplyDeleteGreat build up! Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by!
DeleteI like fights that end in a kiss ;-)
ReplyDeletelol! Me too! Thank you for stopping by!
DeleteGreat picture to use and it fits with your excerpt. Despite the storms love wins through.
ReplyDeleteSia McKye OVER COFFEE
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
DeleteHallo Ashley! (I'm envious of your name, because it already sounds so successful ;D)
ReplyDelete.
I like this snippet; especially the heated dialogue. However I thought I might warn you that sooner or later one of those snarky people who's been to a dozen book-writing super-expensive spa-resort seminars might have a cow and a half when they read this. And they will raise their sanctimonious finger and point out that you used 10 words for specific emotions in 354 words (3.5%). Then they will tell you in their meany-pants snide voices inside your head "But... EVERYBODY knows you can't use emotion words; you have to show those emtions".
.
Now, if it were me, I'd ask them "Who promoted you to the vocabulary Gestapo?" - especially in light of the fact 400 words doesn't do your scene justice, and showing takes up 'way more' words.
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But keep in mind when you submit this as a finished work, snarky lit agents allegedly belong to the group of people who have a cow and a half over that kinda stuff.
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I envy you not only for your fantastic name, but the fact you can make such a cool scene so short and sweet. Good work!
Thank you for your comment! I do understand where you're coming from! I actually e-mailed one of my beta readers to make sure I didn't do this in my novel because I was sort of frightened. Lol.
DeleteWhen I'm editing this as a whole (this particular excerpt is part of a short story, I suppose you can call it, about 15 pages or so), I'll definitely be conscious of this!
Thank you for your kind compliment! I often think my name doesn't sound as fantastic...or rather synonymous with success, but you've given me hope!
I look forward to your blog and your comments!
This is a hot scene, and I enjoyed it very much:)
ReplyDeleteI love the tension you create between the two that leads to the kiss. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteGreat tension! And its such a sad situation for those two, they have such great chemistry!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, but they pull through. :D They're my favorite couple. haha.
DeleteYou build such tension in so few paragraphs!!! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteFantastic build up to that kiss! And I love the name Cove! Great story you have going here :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Me too! haha. He and his family have the most unique names ever.
DeleteI enjoyed the tension and kiss at the end. Good job, Ashley.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Medeia!
DeleteReading your scene made me want to write again. :-D
ReplyDeleteAWW! Yay!!! That's my goal. :D
DeleteUm.... remind me why this girl is with a chump named Ben when she can have Cove?! *swoon*
ReplyDeleteP.s. LOVE the name Cove!
LOL. I know, right?!?
DeleteThank you so much!
Nicely done! I especially like the name Cove! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteI totally thought I had commented on this, but I guess not! I really enjoyed the scene.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLooove it! Of course I'm a little biased because it happens to include two of my favorite characters in your books.
ReplyDeleteI must echo an earlier comment and say that the line that reads, "Her lips touched his, he was lost" was incredible. It was one of the most perfectly romantic statements I have ever read.
Keep it up lady, I need more.
The tension and build up are great. You make the reader want to know what the heck happened between these two and why Sara married someone else. Great job on this!
ReplyDelete