Cutlass Trilogy

Friday, February 10, 2012

I'm Hearing Voices Part 3!



First – THANK YOU to everyone who has stopped by my blog, and THANK YOU to everyone who has posted such wonderful pieces of their stories!! I’ve enjoyed all of them, and I hope you enjoyed mine! :D 

Now, first I thought I was going to do something with Sia and Aran, but I’d be giving too much away, I think, and I had really wanted to do something with my favorite characters, Cove and Sara. 

Here they are: 




Okay, here's our last challenge: 
February 10th - Friday - Emotion Flash Fiction: Emotion is the engine of a story. Pick an emotion and in a flash fiction piece of 250 words MAKE us feel it! We want to connect with your character. This will be a challenge in 250 words. 

I guess you could say my emotion was anger...maybe pain? Maybe pain can be a sub-category of anger? Lol.


            “How could you think I would want him?” asked Sara. Her voice startled him—she sounded angry.
            Cove looked at her. “You are going to marry him,” he said. “What else should I think?”
            “He asked my father, Cove,” his heart beat faster when he heard her say his name. “There was nothing I could do to protest. My father said I’d be stupid to resist his advances.”
            “You swore you would never let your father decide your marriage,” said Cove.
            “You weren’t there to care who I married,” said Sara, almost bitterly. “Your father came to dinner—my parents discussed our marriage. Canice said you weren’t the settling-down type. He said you had no desire to marry. I had no reason to wait for a man who did not love me.”
            Cove stood at that moment.
            “And you believed that?” he spat rage.
            “What was I supposed to think? You didn’t come back for a month and never came to see me after.”
            “You were engaged, Sara! It wouldn’t have been appropriate and as far as I knew, you had no desire to see me anymore. If I had married, what would you have thought?” he asked. Sara wanted to respond, but she couldn’t say anything—she knew how she would feel. Hurt. Lost. Angry.
            “I heard of your engagement on the day I returned from sea. It was the worst news I had ever heard. You have no idea how I felt—no idea!”

P.S. After reading others, I realized, I failed at this. LOL. 

43 comments:

  1. What great friction between them. Anger and hurt. Perfect.

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  2. To be honest, don't use modifiers like "he spat rage." I'm not really sure what it's supposed to mean. Was he literally spitting? The best idea in dialogue is to try and let the words being spoken convey the emotion, along with whatever actions/description.

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    1. Thanks for the help! I'll definitely edit! I've been working on doing this in my actual novel. Thanks again!

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  3. This was fun to read! I feel for both of them.

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  4. Crackling chemistry!




    A to Z Challenge April 2012

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  5. Awww, lover's quarrel. Kiss, already! LOL! Love it--lots of emotion. ;)

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  6. Oh, I want them to sneak out and run away together!

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    1. lol. They actually are married in my books, this is like "how they came to be" story.

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  7. Oh god, this was heart wrenching. I could really feel the bitterness on both their parts, and the under-lying affection they have for each other.

    Excellent! :D

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  8. Poor Cove, she should just call off the wedding.

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    1. Lol. She does, basically! They're married in the books...but Ben still comes back to haunt them. :/

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  9. My heart broke for them. Very powerful! Well done!

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  10. You didn't fail Ashley :) I felt their hurt, anger, pain. Very well done! And I love the name Cove :)

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    1. Thank you so much! Cove is so magnetic as a character to me, I'm not sure why! But I love him! And he has the best name. LOL. Thanks again!

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  11. Ya, absolutely didn't fail! I'm actually visualizing them inching towards each other as they argue, the sexual tension just pulsing through the air and then... BAM! Make-out city!

    Of course, I could be totally off, lol. :)

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    1. LOL!!! You aren't off, at all. Thank you so much!

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  12. Fantastic job. How sad. But I agree. Maybe a little makeup makeout is in order?? :)

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    1. LOL. I joined the Valentines day posting, it's a continuation of this, actually! :D

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    2. Ooo, is that the “is it getting HOT in here” one? Should be interesting to read, you’ve some good emotions going on here as it is.

      I, on the other hand, am still not certain which characters I’ll have up.

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  13. You call that a fail? That was AMAZING!!! Now you've got me hooked! I want to know what happens next!! Great job :)

    Following along!

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  14. Ha. Cassie's comment. Make-out kiss. I thought you did a great job! Oh and I like the name Cove.

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    1. Thank you! I do, too. He didn't take long to tell me his name...I guess cause that's Cove's personality. lol

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  15. No fail there. You did a great job! I could see in my mind the reaction on your character's faces as I read it.

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  16. I think it's more like romantic frustration or heartbreak, anger with it's pain pants on.

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    1. LOL. I love your description! My friend describe Cove and Sara as the couple who you can just feel the love they have...you don't really need to hear them say it.

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  17. OH, no. You didn't fail. You excelled. Good job.

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  18. those pictures are excellent! who is the artist?
    and she is defensive, justifying the choice she didnt want to make, putting it all on him, good girl!
    great piece =)

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    1. Thank you! The artist is Brittiny Hines, I have her listed under my links! She's AMAZING!

      And thank you so much!

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  19. Definitely didn't fail. I felt the emotion come through. At least, reading this made me want to throw something at Cove :)

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    1. lol. He was really unfair in this situation, really.

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  20. Aww, a love story that didn't work out. I can tell that Cove felt like he was stabbed with a knife.

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    1. It sure doesn't seem that way! Yeah, it's really sad. Cove's such a strong character, I know everything about him. LOL. He and Sara just had THAT connection.

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  21. I don't think you failed at all! this was great - I'm thinking that this story isn't done though. ;)

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