Well, today is my first Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Lol.
I guess I should talk about a very hopeless feeling I get quite often and how I deal with it. This feeling is the feeling that I will never get published. The wonderful Barbara Kloss says that you must figure out why you want to write before you can decide anything else.
I agree. I've been writing for 8 years, going on 9 (I always joke that writers say it take 10 years to get published, and that means I only have a couple more to wait!) When I was younger, I had a very...glamours view of what a writers life was like. It mimicked a celebrities life. I knew though, that wasn't why I wanted to write. I loved my books far too much and felt too much of a passion for them, besides, we know that rarely is a writer's life that of a celebrities. Despite this, that does remain a goal of mine.
I feel insecure about admitting this. I don't know how many of us dream about being a famous author, but I did and I still do. When I say this, however, I feel like the worth of my novels goes down. I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm saying in one respect I am good enough for this, and in another that seems to be all I care about, but here's my idea on author fame:
If you're famous, that means people, loads of people from EVERYWHERE are reading your books and in love with your characters just as much as you are. You can obsess over details like they do, stay immersed in the world longer, the longer your fans love it.
I cannot tell you how exciting the thought of having several different covers and books in different languages is. Isn't it crazy that words you have written would be in another country and adored? It's a crazy thought, but one I totally don't mind finding in my reality.
I can answer Barbara's question: I want to write because I want to share my books with people everywhere. Now, I just have to figure out the best way to do that. Perhaps there should be no shame in wanting this and wanting to be a famous author.
So, is anyone else insecure about their wishes to be a famous author? Do you feel bad when you admit to it? I feel arrogant, and feel as though I'm writing for the wrong reasons.
