Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Insecure Writer's Support Group


Well, today is my first Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Lol.

I guess I should talk about a very hopeless feeling I get quite often and how I deal with it. This feeling is the feeling that I will never get published. The wonderful Barbara Kloss says that you must figure out why you want to write before you can decide anything else.

I agree. I've been writing for 8 years, going on 9 (I always joke that writers say it take 10 years to get published, and that means I only have a couple more to wait!) When I was younger, I had a very...glamours view of what a writers life was like. It mimicked a celebrities life. I knew though, that wasn't why I wanted to write. I loved my books far too much and felt too much of a passion for them, besides, we know that rarely is a writer's life that of a celebrities. Despite this, that does remain a goal of mine.

I feel insecure about admitting this. I don't know how many of us dream about being a famous author, but I did and I still do. When I say this, however, I feel like the worth of my novels goes down. I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm saying in one respect I am good enough for this, and in another that seems to be all I care about, but here's my idea on author fame:

If you're famous, that means people, loads of people from EVERYWHERE are reading your books and in love with your characters just as much as you are. You can obsess over details like they do, stay immersed in the world longer, the longer your fans love it.

 I cannot tell you how exciting the thought of having several different covers and books in different languages is. Isn't it crazy that words you have written would be in another country and adored? It's a crazy thought, but one I totally don't mind finding in my reality.

I can answer Barbara's question: I want to write because I want to share my books with people everywhere. Now, I just have to figure out the best way to do that. Perhaps there should be no shame in wanting this and wanting to be a famous author.

So, is anyone else insecure about their wishes to be a famous author? Do you feel bad when you admit to it? I feel arrogant, and feel as though I'm writing for the wrong reasons.

8 comments:

  1. We all want our dreams to come true. There is no shame in that~ I admire your open thoughts! I want a book deal, but haven't figured out which type yet! You have to keep traveling the path of your heart n' soul...with us it is our fingers doing the walking! Nice to meet you~ :D

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  2. Thank you for your honesty. More people should possess it. :)

    I do want to be famous. Kinda. I think on one hand Stephenie Meyer is lucky to have movies, books, adoring fans, and a comfortable bank account. On the other hand though, I don't think I want to be as famous as her. I read how writing magazines downgrade her success and writing style. How other authors openly degrade her talent and the websites set up to bash her work. I don't think I could handle that.

    I want my books to be well loved and well known, but not as out there and on the radar as Stephenie Meyer.

    I don't feel bad to admit it, but I wonder if I'm looked at badly. If I didn't want success, this writing thing would only be a hobby I did in my spare time. But it's not. I schedule daily writing, obsess over editing what I have and searching out ways to make it better. No, success is a good thing to desire. :)

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  3. @ Ella - Thanks! It is nice to meet you too! I definitely agree! I don't think I know what's all involved so I can't really judge for myself yet.

    @ Rachel - I totally understand. I totally agree that if we didn't want success, we wouldn't be dedicated to it as our career and I wonder more and more if I'm able to hold up against the harsh criticism. When you're in that position, all aspects of you are judged, it stops being about your books and starts being about your body image, your name, everything! Don't know if I could handle that. But look at J.K. Rowling -- The amount of scrutiny Stephenie Meyer is put under is not the same as J.K. Rowling's. Rowling also dealt with fame in a way...like...she ignored it. She said she never wanted to realize how famous she was during the Potter books because it would have been overwhelming, and she takes nothing for granted.

    But I think any amount of attention my books get, I will be ecstatic about! LOL. And if it doesn't reach the length of J.K. and Stephenie, then that's more privacy for me!

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  4. There is absolutely no shame in pursuing what is your true passion and dream. Be proud! You're part of a wonderful community of struggling people who work hard at their craft.

    And while I'm not insecure about my wishes to be a famous author, sometimes I'm a little embarrassed admitting it to people. I don't know why!

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  5. I think most people secretly hope they'll write a book that will make them famous. But, gah! Can you imagine the scrutiny? Talk about needing to develop armor plated skin. Still, I wouldn't turn down a six figure offer if one came my way. Or a movie deal. Or an invitation to the Oscars :P

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  6. Hey its Jen C. I really hope your dreams for this book come true. It would be very sad if your hopes for this book and your others did not come true, it would be devastating. But I believe in you. You might be denied a lot, but I believe there will be one who will see your worth. I'm not trying to sound depressing, but truthful, and very hopeful. I love you.

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  7. I think everyone that writes would love to have their stuff published (I know I would), but Stephen King put it in perspective for me(he's literally talking about playing an instrument, but he's applying it to writing as well):

    "...when you find something at which you are talented, you do it (whatever it is) until your fingers bleed or your eyes are ready to fall out of your head. Even when no one is listening (or reading), every outing is a bravura performance because you as the creator are happy. Perhaps even ecstatic."

    For me this is so true and when I get that uptight feeling that I'll never get published, I think of this and just enjoy the writing.

    Hope it helps.

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  8. I don't know if it's insecurity or fear for what lies ahead, but writers give so much of themselves and can be left vulnerable. To not know what may happen may leave some of us feeling fearful and it may come across as being insecure.

    Keep writing.

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