Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Insecure Write Support Group
There's been a lot going on recently--school, job interviews, and yes, my book.
My book has given me a lot of stress recently. One reason is because maybe my genre had changed. Well, I guess you can say it didn't really change. Looking on it, I may have been writing the genre the whole time, but called it something else.
What I've been most insecure about recently is something I'm afraid to talk about. It's when your friends begin to make you feel like your writing is less significant than theirs. When they make you feel like you're not as good as them, like you aren't going to get published, and that you're writing just isn't enough to BE that genre you just might start exploring.
This started out as being a fun exchange, and helpful. I was getting feedback and I liked it. I could take the critical, even.
Now there's no help. And all I can hear now from his person is how I don't know enough about writing--ANY form. From query letters to anything about publication, even.
Questions like, "Have you researched writers queries online? Have you actually looked for a REAL writer's queries?" Let me know that the person on the other side of me thinks I'm dumb. They also HAVE NOT taken into account the writer I am, or the strength of my blog or my intelligence.
I'll tell you what I know about writing: I have nearly nine years of experience. Now, that might not seem like a lot coming from someone who's almost 22, but let me tell you--I've seen my work change and transform and I know I'm better. I know it. I can writing a variety of things from essays, poetry, to novels. I'm well-disciplined.
FOR YEARS I have searched and searched for example queries, agents, how to query, how to research agents, I've researched markets. I've bought Writer's Markets, I've been to QueryTracker, I've been to Absolute Writer, Writer's Write, Agents Blogs like Kristen Nelson and Nathan Bradford. I've read books like From the Query to the Call, submitted my query for revision to bloggers and agents alike. I'VE QUERIED!
AND yes, I still worry about getting published. Because it's hard. Because, this person who has made me so upset and made me feel this way only said at the end of this conversation, "Well...I guess I'm not that worried about publication. I have connections upon connections upon connections. I pitched my novel to them, they said they know exactly who I can contact when it's finished."
Well, that's great. I don't. It's gonna be harder for me. But you know what? I'll be better off taking the hard road.
Sorry guys, this was a rant.
I've been upset about this for a while. I almost feel betrayed. :/