QUERY QUERY QUERY

Ugh. You all know I have had a rough time with my queries. They are evil. SOOOOO evil. I have never had such a hard time writing anything in my entire life. And for all the pain we put into that query...it's probably gonna get rejected a million and one times. So...I decided to let everyone see my query evolution. Because I've had some awful ones, but I mean...I wasn't born a pro--obviously, and I also wrote queries before I decided searching google might be helpful...and before I could find examples online...and before I had a blog. So yeah. These are preeeettttyyyy bad. But I learned! My most recent is query #4. I'll tell you about it when you get through all these. (ahaha. you don't reallly have to read all of them, you can just read number 4 if you want).

Query #1:

Set in a time of swashbuckling mysticism, this novel is a tale of love, betrayal, and friendship. Cutlass (156,356 words) Yeah...crazy word count, huh? will appeal to young adults with a taste for adventure, suspense, and romance. Elves, dwarves, magic, and the classics of action and romance provide a new spin on pirates and their rough and tumble world. 

Barren Reed is a pirate who is haunted by a ghastly past. Though his former transgressions are not as noble as his current crime, he is still being hunted. Recently he has been accused of stealing the heart of the Half-Elf Kiera Lee the daughter of a Senator-turned-madman named Lord Christopher Lee. Though Kiera keeps Barren from indulging in his past sins, she cannot keep him from everything. Barren begins his search for his father’s stolen treasure map without any knowledge of what the treasure is. His quest unlocks a past that has been erased from his memory and a dreadful curse that could wipe out the entire Elvish race, including his wife, and the only way to save them is by sacrificing his own life.

Query #2

I have completed a 152,587 word young adult fantasy novel entitled Cutlass, and I hope you might consider it for publication.

The last place Barren should be is in Maris (a port town with a government notoriously against pirates) the noose around his neck only solidifies that fact. As Barren awaits death at the hands of his brother, William Reed, the last thing on his mind is the afterlife. At this moment, Barren’s only concern is the map he doesn’t have, a map to his father’s lost treasure. This treasure, however, is not what Barren expects. It is not gold or silver, jewels or pearls but a terrible weapon of dark magic forged in an attempt to kill Barren's father. Years after his father's death, the device still lives and kills. Barren must find it and destroy it in order to save his wife and the entire Elvish race it is killing. But destroying a device of dark magic only proves to be more difficult for Barren, especially when a curse of death comes over any who succeed in destroying the device.

Query #3

Barren Reed, a pirate and notorious enemy of the government, never thought searching The Orient for his father's treasure could kill him.

For Barren, it isn’t greed that motivates his search for the treasure, but his nightmares, which seem to be telling him something vicious lies in place of Jess’s so-called “treasure”. His fears are confirmed when he discovers the treasure is cursed and may kill, not only his wife and closest friend, but his entire Elvish race. Barren must destroy the treasure before everyone dies, but there is one problem—the device cannot be destroyed without killing its assailant. Barren must make a choice—cease to exist himself, or watch his world waste away.

Query #4

Barren Reed, a notorious pirate, never thought searching the Orient for his father’s treasure could kill him. Though, the nightmares of pleading voices should have been a clue.

While attending a state dinner at Maris in disguise, Barren Reed tries to find his father’s map, but is captured in the process by his brother, Ambassador William Reed, and his father-in-law, Lord Christopher Lee. Barren is saved from execution at the last minute by Leaf, his ex-first mate. Suspecting the Elf has an alternative motive for the rescue, Barren confronts him and discovers Leaf needs Barren's help in raising an army of Pirates to defeat a curse killing the entire Elvish race.

Barren discovers that his father's long-sought treasure is actually responsible for the Elves' curse, and is the result of a bitter feud between his parents. Not only does the curse affect the Elves in Aurum, but anyone who shares Elvish blood--that includes Leaf and Barren himself. In order to save the Elves, the treasure must be destroyed. Despite treason within his own crew, and William and Christopher’s pursuit of Barren, the pirate will stop at nothing to see this long-time feud end. There is only one problem--if Barren destroys the treasure, the curse will pass to him in its entirety and kill him. Barren must make a choice--cease to exist himself, or watch his world waste away.

Cutlass is a 120,000 work of Adult Fantasy. This is my first novel. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Now, as you can see, I trimmed my word count, and decided I was writing Adult Fantasy. Lol. Query #4 was very tough to write, and I had to have the help of my boyfriend to write it. Why? 

1. He read the books. 

That's really my only reason. I know there might be unanswered questions here...(Well, actually I don't, so if there is, you should tell me, tehe). I felt like, in order to get my point across, I needed to bounce ideas off someone who was right in front of me, and it had to be someone who knew my characters and the story, otherwise, I wouldn't be able to write it. 

Another thing we did was go through "From the Query to the Call" by Elana Johnson and individually answer questions involving 

1. The Hook

2. The Setup

3. The Conflict

4. The Consequence

Believe it or not, this was tedious and I got angry. Can anyone picture me angry? It was awful. BUT I got through it, and I think better off than I was.

What do you guys think?